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In the book the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey talks about the importance of making emotional deposits in relationships. Like a bank account, he explains that healthy relationships thrive when there are more “deposits” made  then “withdrawals”. A relationship can weather life’s withdrawals with a healthy account.  Simple math, really.  However, if no or very few deposits are made in the relationship, but withdrawals constant (which can be displayed in an infinite number of ways), it can damage the relationship, often leaving it irreparable.  The relationship then becomes a ”delinquent account”.  Try getting cash from “zero balance”.  It just does not happen.  Have you ever experienced a one-sided relationship that got old real fast?

At the end of the program after teaching this idea, participants always express enthusiasm for learning of the emotional bank account.  I am excited at the value they see in practicing these principals, but remind them of one thing.  I caution them not to make what I call “transparent deposits”.  These are deposits made with the intent to gain something as a result of the deposit.  For example; if someone needs something from you, and they quickly attempt to “deposit” with the intent to make an immediate withdraw, this point is missed entirely.  I warn that this is not what the idea encourages.  It encourages that with the relationships you value, it is essential to practice making genuine emotional deposits to sustain them.

Character is much easier kept then recovered. – Thomas Paine