Just last week with eyes filled with tears, this beautiful woman shares with me her current personal crisis. A crisis so intense that if I allowed her energy to completely influence mine, I would have cried right there with her in the middle of the seminar. This scene is more common these days in both the private sessions and on the sidelines of many of my workshops. People troubled, depressed, challenged, sad and simply struggling to find some kind of balance in a world crumbling around them.
These are smart people trying to intellectualize what they are experiencing, sensitive people who don’t understand why someone in their office would even want to take credit for their work, seasoned professionals tired of the “same old game” and fresh folks asking, “is this it?”.
I think what is happening is that folks all around are not changing – rather they are transforming. Changing something is an easy surface do with quick and powerful action-steps that successfully take us from here to there. I have nothing against such techniques as they are quite effective and often my prescribed remedy in many cases. But when the terrain is someone’s emotional landscape and it is laced with peaks, valleys and rushing rivers, a more mindful approach is called for in these situations.
If you find yourself in the middle of a personal crisis or emotional storm explore the process below to help restore you to strength…
First and foremost – stop. Just stop the emotional spiral and ease your way back to a centered place. Don’t try to solve anything, just reach for a moment of peace. Reach for the essence of the present moment. Breathe deeply. Breath slowly.
Second, once more relaxed begin to create a vision and plan for healing. This may require deeper reflection, vulnerable conversations with a trusted companion or perhaps a safe arena for the tears to be shed, that never were hence the crisis.
Lastly, it is about letting go. Letting go of the pain, frustration, negative emotion and identification with it. So many of those young people that killed themselves did so from feeling powerless and humiliated. Feeling powerless and humiliated can create so much suffering in someone that attempts to alleviate such suffering can be traumatic. That is why this last step is so important. Letting go can be a slow process of micro changes (saying goodbye, healing wounds, making changes, admitting mistakes, taking ownership) that lead to a profound macro transformation.
Real transformation is guaranteed for all because all who walk this earth have the power to be the most beautiful version of themselves at anytime regardless of the landscape behind them. That is the miracle of being alive, the joy of being a creator in this universe. That is power. Real transformation always asks us to look in the mirror and have the strength of character to see what needs to be seen. Few succeed at this, many stay in denial. But if you can face your own internal nature and master working with it – rather then trying to change everything outside of you – you will be free. And there is no greater power then that.
Be an Artist. Heal Your Canvas.
